Thursday, July 14, 2011

Guinee Part 2

So we're in the boat, descending into the deep. And a bunch of fish come and start eating up the memories of the dead people who still have them. They also start kind of crowding around Laurel and I, which creeped me out a bit. That is until Jaws rammed a hole in the boat and a fucking siren (I believe Laurel prefers the term 'sea hooker') started luring us all out the hole. Well, she lured us out until Laurel chopped her in half.

I love my wife.

But yeah, so then there were these weird five-handed sea monkeys that went after the memory fish. But we were a little preoccupied with the delusion that we could hurt this shark. After a little while we realized how futile that was and went back inside to find almost all the memory fish gone and their sea-monkey attackers already in retreat. I went up on deck and found a whole bunch of Nommo doing combat with the ship's crew. Augwe seemed like he'd really rather be fighting than steering the damn ship, so I relieved him of his duties and steered the enormous under-water sail boat (with a bit of help from Laurel)

It didn't take long for the fight to end, really. And once it was over we pretty much just kept on going down. The ghosts, no longer with any memories, went back to partying, and eventually a giant crab indicated that it was time to get off by means of giant fucking pincer clamp. Before we got off, though, Augwe mentioned that, oh by the way, he's Erzulie's husband and he's rather acutely aware of why we're down here. Oh really!? Why didn't you tell us sooner Augwe? Like when we saw you on the surface and you could have not put us in the awkward position of wondering whether we were about to be stranded at the bottom of the ocean in hostile territory!

The prick.

Anyways, he let us leave, and we swam down a tunnel. And then kept swimming down the tunnel. And there was some more swimming down the tunnel after that. Then we finally got to Guinee--a big ol' city full of dead people, and almost every one of them partying down. I'm actually getting pretty lazy here, so I'm going to skip the boring parts.

Long story short, we swim around looking for the Baron, we run into Bridgitte (who is still cool), we meet some lady with a name I never quite got the spelling of, and then the entire city is royally boned by a massive sea-snake (eel, whatever) and his side-kick the pirate squid. I'm serious, this shit sounds like a bad plot to a kid's movie. Like a bad plot to a bad kid's movie at that--the good guys lost. And I'm not joking here. They plowed huge troughs through the city, raked up ghosts onto that ship, and kicked the shit out of Baron Samedi. Oh yeah, and me? I was pretty much useless. The only thing I found that I could actually effect in any meaningful way was the boat... and it healed! Who makes boats that heal their wounds at noticeable rates!? (Then again, who makes sail-boats that work under water?)

Once again. Whatever.

The important part of all this was that we lost them. Victor and Sarah. We lost them. I'll be honest, I'm not exactly a man pure of heart. By the age of twenty five I'd killed seven people (well, mortally wounded. I hardly bothered to make sure they were dead.) And to this day I really don't feel bad about Victor. I seem to remember promising to break his arms and shoot him in the head. So I really didn't care less that he was gone--except that he was supposed to be part of the bargaining chip (which still seems kind of wrong) for getting Marie. But that aside Sarah was gone. Fuck me, I just can't really protect people. I mean it just seems weird. In my mundane life I was almost the ultimate protector of people. I would go to incredible lengths and brave incredible dangers just to save people's lives. And I always succeeded. But it's starting to get to the point that things are just spiraling completely out of my league. I mean I've failed this woman twice now, and I've spent a total of about 90 hours in her presence--living and otherwise.

I mean, I can see the danger coming from miles away, but I can't seem to do anything about it. Maybe I should go do some push-ups. At least it'll get my mind off this shit.

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